Nobody's Perfect
by tabbyforever
Summary: After a bad dream one night, Minerva's expected to relive something she's been trying to forget (WARNING: Very mild abuse disscussed)


No-body's Perfect

Disclaimer: Do i really have to go through this every time??!! Can't we all just except that i don't own them, only borrow then for my own personal use and pleasure!!! I make no money...i wish i did!!!!!

All the praise goes to JKR!!!grrr wish i'd thought of it first though!!!

Song belongs to Alanis Morrissette (Ooo i can't spell!!!)

Summery: After a bad dream one night Minerva's forced to remember something she's been trying to forget!!

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_Some times is never quite enough_

_If you're flawless then you'll win my love_

_Don't forget to win first place_

_Don't forget to keep that smile on your face_

Minerva McGonagall sat bolt upright in bed!

Up until this point she had been sleeping peacefully beside her husband of 50 years, and the fact that she had awoken and sat up so quickly had not gone unnoticed by her husband.

It wasn't the fact that she had woken up that worried him; she had recently been through the terrible ordeal of being hit by 4 stunners directly to the chest and was prone to restless nights. It was what happened next that worried him the most!!

_Be a good girl_

_Try a little harder_

_You've got to measure up _

_And make me prouder_

Minerva had started to mumble, what she was saying at first he couldn't make out and it was interspersed with sharp intakes of breath, small whimpers and sobs. As this got louder however, Albus could begin to make out what it was she was saying.

"I'm sorry Mammy I didn't mean it, I'll tr-try harder next ti-ti-time, Pappy please, I'm sorry, I couldn't st-stop it, please, please do-don't punish me "

But as she repeated this mantra over and over, it got louder and seemingly more desperate

"Please Mammy, please Pappy, I'm sorry, I promise I'll try harder next time!!"

She was slowly staring to get more hysterical... and it broke Albus' heart to see her like this, her state of fear getting louder but her stance changing to that of one trying to cower away from harm... almost as though she was afraid HE was going to hurt her!!

Albus could no longer bear to sit there and watch her slowly but surely work her self up into a state of utter distress, he gingerly reached out and cuddled her closer to him.

After a minute or two of close contact in which he proved that he wasn't going to harm her, she started to quiet down and relax into his soothing embrace.

_How long be you screw it up_

_How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up_

_With everything I do for you,_

_The lest you can do is keep quiet_

"There there my darling, it's ok, I'm not going to hurt you, Minerva it's ok!!" He said as he rubbed her back in large soothing circles.

"Albus?" She asked gingerly, her face buried in his chest

"Yes I'm here my love" He replied

"It's ok you don't need to be afraid any longer, I'm here, it's ok I'll protect you!"

"I'm sorry!!" She whispered

"What are you sorry for? You have no need to be, you've done nothing wrong!!!" He replied, hugging her closer again

"But I have, I have done something wrong!! It's all my fault!"

"I let you down, I let Hagrid down, and Harry and Sirius... but it's you... I let you down and I can't bare it!!"

"What are you talking about my love" He replied, more than a little bit shocked at what he was hearing

"You've never let any one down, least of all me!"

"But I did... I did let you down, if I'd been, faster, stronger, better, none of this would have happened!!! Hagrid wouldn't have fled, Harry would have come to me, and Sirius would still be alive!!"

"Its my fault... I let her get to me and then failed you... failed to protect everything you hold dear!!!"

"I failed... I failed, I failed, I failed, I failed, I failed!!!"

By this time she was hysterical again and it was all Albus could do to stop him self from crying at the sight and sound of his beloved wife torturing herself with these untrue statements!!!

_Be a good girl _

_You've gotta try a little harder _

_That simply was good enough_

_To make us proud_

Finally some time later, Minerva's sobs had given way to the rhythmic breathing characteristic of some one in a deep slumber. She had cried herself to sleep in his arms, and he held her close all night long, giving up his own sleep so that he'd be there to comfort her should she wake again

At around 6:30 a stirring in his arms announced that Minerva was awake, and she gingerly looked up at him, her cheeks burning with the embarrassment of him seeing her lose control like that. Albus however just reached down and kissed her soundly, a gesture that told her not to worry he was there for her.

Fixing her with his crystal blue gaze, Albus felt compelled to ask a question that had been burning him up inside all night

"My dear, I know you've had a horrible night and are absolutely exhausted, but I really have to ask you... What happened??"

If truth be told, Minerva had been half expecting this, but it didn't make it any easier for her to answer.

"Please Albus, it was nothing... just a bad dream" She faltered

"Nothing that you need to worry yourself about...silly really!!" Minerva was trying her best to sound her usual self, she knew that if she didn't, she'd have to relive the whole thing over again.

"But Min, it obviously wasn't 'nothing'!!" He pushed

"Albus please don't push this, I can't tell you!" She replied, starting to get a little angry that he wasn't dropping the subject

"Minerva, you know that I can't drop it... let it be...forget about it!!!" Albus replied, again fixing her with his calm gaze

"Something or someone has hurt you and I can't bare to see you hurt or hurting like you were last night, it broke my heart to see you like that!!" His voice was gentle as he continued

"You cowered away from me last night, obviously scared that I was going to hurt you in some way...but I'm not going to do that Minerva! I would never do anything to hurt you, because I love you!!! I love you more than life itself and would do anything to protect you!!" He continued

"But I can't do that unless you let me help you, please tell me what happened, who caused you this much pain??"

As he said all this, something inside Minerva just snapped, she'd kept this to herself for the best part of 60 years, and it was slowly but surely eating her up inside.

Slowly but surely, Minerva began to tell her tale.

_I'll live through you _

_I'll make you what I never was_

_If you're the best well maybe so am I _

_Compared to him compared to her _

_I'm doing this for your own damn good_

_You'll make up for what I blew_

_What's the problem.... why are you crying??_

"Don't get me wrong I loved my Mammy and Pappy, loved them to bits, but that doesn't give them the rights to do what they did to me!!"

Minerva shut her eyes and paused as if stopping to collect her thoughts and decide the best way to tell this. Albus just watched and said nothing, this was something that would come out in her own time and he knew that there'd be time for questions later.

"I'm sure you remember my father, he was on the board of governor's when I was at school?!" Albus merely nodded to show that yes he knew who she was talking about.

"Murphy and Medea McGonagall, my Mammy and Pappy, very ambitious, well known amongst the magical community, the family name still commanded a lot of respect!" She said, the respect still evident in her voice as she began to speak of her childhood.

"I remember Grampappy Maxim would sit me on his knee and tell be about all the things the family had done in both the Magical and Muggle world to command the respect that they did, and I used to sit there in wonderment that I was a part of this prestigious family"

"My Pappy was the oldest of 7 children, 4 boys and 3 girls, and again as I'm sure your aware, Transfiguration ran very deeply in the McGonagall clan!"

"When my Pappy when to Hogwarts everyone expected him to aspire to great things in the classroom, especially the Transfiguration classroom, however it wasn't to be... He did not become as everyone expected, the Transfigurations whizz that everyone thought he would be... in fact he hated it, he could do the subject, just not to the Family 'Standard'!"

"Pappy found that his talents lie else where, on the Quiddich pitch, this was where he made his name... Murphy McGonagall the finest seeker that Scotland had seen in a great many years...but his International career ended suddenly after the 1925 world cup in which Scotland got through to the final but were just beaten by the French when pappy misjudged the his distance from the snitch and fell off his broom. I suppose that's where it all went wrong!" She paused briefly, gathering her thoughts as to what to say next.

"Grampappy Maxim was very supportive of his eldest son's choice of career, and although his eldest didn't follow the family tradition of transfigurations, he was expected to adhere to all the other family traditions, so naturally once he announced his retirement from the Scottish National squad, a second announcement was made that he was to Wed Medea McKinley a few weeks later."

"Anyway, what with the money my Pappy had made in his days on the National side, and the name McGonagall firmly attached, my parents lived out a comfortable if somewhat empty life...Pappy wouldn't allow Mammy to work... "You shouldn't be working, you should be at home with me" he used to say to her, so when I came long, they had something to occupy them." Minerva pause again, and summoned a glass of water, all this talking was making her throat hurt, especially after all the crying she did last night!!

Albus just sat there, watching his wife while she took a long drink and composed herself again before she continued

"I must have been about 5 years old when things started to go wrong" She said, drawing a deep breath, she could feel the tears beginning to form in her eyes again

"Like I said, my parents were ambitious and had to think about the McGonagall traditions, I often think that my Pappy was ashamed that he wasn't a natural with transfigurations an my being an only child meant that he was under more pressure from the family to produce an heiress who was competent with the branch of magic that had alluded him!"

"He had me tutored from an early age in the history of the subject as well as the theory of all the other subjects taught at the school, he wanted me to be the best and if I wasn't, I was punished!!!" Minerva couldn't quite believe she was doing this; this was something she'd kept secret for a long time

"I very quickly learnt that being good, didn't cut it... I had to be the best, at everything I did, whether it was academic or on the Quiddich pitch, if I didn't put 110 into everything I would get the belt, or the slipper, of if I did particularly badly, I was punished with magic." Absentmindedly she ran her hand down one side of her back, where, Albus happened to know, lay a particularly nasty scar that she had always claimed to be a birth mark.

"I also knew that it was pointless going to my Mammy for help! She always sided with Pappy, how I wasn't good enough, a disappointment, useless...even when I became the youngest animagus. I think my parents thought that if I did remarkable well it would say something about them and they're wonderful skills as parents, but all it did was make me fear them." At the memory of that, a single tear had run down Minerva's face.

_Be a good girl_

_Push a little farther mow_

_That wasn't fast enough _

_To make us happy_

_We'll love you, just the way you are, if your perfect_.

Albus pulled his wife towards him... He didn't know what to say!!

He couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt such a sweet natured child!

He simply sat there for the moment cradling Minerva's shaking form as she dissolved into tears once again.

Albus was angry; he had known both Minerva's Father and Grandfather, in his years and was disgusted that Maxim would allow his son to do that to his child... But he was furious with Murphy for ever thinking that harming a child was a good way to teach them!!!

After a while Minerva's sobbing had subsided and kissing her forehead he said to her

"My darling I had no idea that you had such a troubled childhood, I'm so sorry for making you go through it all again, but thank you for doing so."

"I just want you to know that I have never thought you a failure in any way!! You're a fantastic mother, a wonderful teacher, and a highly accomplished and powerful witch! Not to mention an amazing lover and wife." He said as she clung onto him as if letting go would mean he disappear.

"Thank you" she simply said as she started to dry her eyes.

"Whatever must you think of me...I must look a sight... puffy eyes, runny nose!!"

"I think you look as beautiful now as the day met you!!" He stated mater-of-fact-ly.

"Ooo Albus you're just saying that to make me feel better" She slapped him playfully on the chest as she cuddled up to him again

"Is it working?" He questioned

"Yes" she simple replied


End file.
